Sunday, July 5, 2009

What's on my heart

Heart of Hearts

I remember when I was in my last year of High School and in my late teens, I was so bummed because all my friends were paired up in serious relationships and I had never had a boyfriend.

I felt like an outsider looking in to their world. I just didn't fit in with them because I was alone. I desperately wanted a someone but no one seemed to want me in return. I had crush after crush but that was all they were unreciprocated crushes. It was a sad time for me and very depressing. I was in school and working so I was busy, but I had plenty of room for more. For me it took the friendship of a special girl who was in the same boat I was, we enjoyed the same things and hanging out so it easier to forget my "pitiful" loneliness.

When I read about that time in my life in my old journals (OK Dear Diaries) I tell 19 year old Troy, "you should have lived it up more!" I should have really enjoyed myself, gotten a sports car, learned Spanish, travelled to Hawaii because in In no time at all, my life took a turn, I met Steve and the rest is history...

My heart has been sad lately for a few girls I know, All of our friends have children the same age so they are getting married and in our church the youth are pairing up and getting married like crazy. My friends say I attend more weddings than anyone. It's true! But as much as I LOVE Weddings, what I love seeing even more are couples truly in love with the right ones for them.

Desperation does strange things to us and if we serve a loving God who only wants us to be happy, why would he let us be lonely? I have been praying alot about this and God told me, He is not sending the right ones because he wants his gift of a loving spouse to be appreciated so he asks, "What are YOU doing to prepare for the love of your life?" are you crabby, eating junk food and ice cream galore? sitting home feeling sorry for yourself in your baggy sweats? These are very selfish things and selfishness is not what a relationship is all about. You want to prepare your heart for sharing. You are wonderfully made, accept this and relish in it and smile. Go to school & work with a happy heart, go out with friends married and single, let everyone set you up, go on E-harmony, Why not? the worst that can happen is you will sleep less cause you have had too much coffee on your Starbucks dates, Just because you meet him doesn't mean you have to touch him!

Lift your head...make yourself lovely inside and out, get a new, current hair style and put effort into your look, learn new make-up tips, try wearing lip gloss regularly, step out of your comfort zone. You say this is not your style, well, is your current style working for you? Switch it up! Become an excellent cook or at least master one really good easy recipe. You should become so busy getting ready for your bridegroom you have no time for desperation.

God wants you to be happy, do you want to prepare a place for the one He has for you, or do you want to settle for the one desperation provides.

I think not...

I have attended the weddings of nine terrific young couples in the past year and will attend at least two more before this year is out, but even more wonderful is my knowledge of or participation in just as many 25th anniversaries including my own.

"But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control" Gal 5:22 (NLT)

Now that sounds like a great wife, that's the good stuff that makes God Smile.


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