Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Trying A Little Pollyanna

I am crabby today, things just aren't going that great and I feel kind of blah and weary.

So I am taking pointers from good ol' Pollyanna and taking a stab at the "Glad Game"

1. I am crabby- Well, I am Glad I am not sick

2. My house is a mess- Well, I am Glad I have over an hour before I have to go to work, plenty of time to get it done

3. We never have enough money- Well, I am always Glad I am married to Steve and we live the life we do, even if it is paycheck to paycheck

4. I am Glad I got a new Pink Coffee cup, that has made my morning a little rosier

5. I am Glad that even though I have the front door open Yogi is quietly sleeping, the open door usually means my HOUND will be baying very soon.

6. I am Glad it is a nice overcast day, cool and lovely, birds singing, flowers blooming.

7. I am Glad my Son and Daughter in Love are coming over Thursday which is our 26th anniversary. Should be a fun day.

8. I am Glad School will be out in just three weeks, Sleep In Day!!!

9. I am Glad our friends asked us over for a Memorial Day BBQ. We are getting used to spending holidays alone,but it was WAY better to spend the day with friends swimming and visiting.

10. I am Glad to see Eric laugh and smile

Well, do I feel better... Yes

Monday, May 25, 2009

Standard Procedure

Dear Kaiser,

I really wish that when a woman patient has her first Mammogram that you would provide her with a list of your Mammogram standard procedures.

Title it "Welcome to the world of Mammograms"

I really think it would be helpful to tell women that. We will call you if we see something alarming, otherwise if we see something that is not alarming but needs further review, you will receive a letter.

When and if you receive a second letter and need an ultrasound if they see something they will be doing a biopsy then and there, and a second mammogram. if a biopsy is done it is likely you will need a day off of work.

And most importantly Dear Kaiser, Please inform patients that if a biopsy is done ALL results will be explained to you by the surgical department.

Please remember this is an extremely unsettling time for a woman. To receive a call from the surgical department without any explanation makes you feel like you might as well go make funeral arrangements and expect the worst.

If it were just explained that this is "Standard Procedure" this experience would be better tolerated by everyone.

Troy Miller

PS. To all My dear friends... Thank you so much for your support and prayers during this difficult time I recently have been through. Because of all of your comments I was very well prepared for this experience and was a lot calmer. I was recently given a clean bill of health and will go back again in six months for a re-check. WHEWWWWWWW!!!

Again, thank you more than you know...

Love, Troysie

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Roses and Really Bad Magazines

Sometimes I wonder why my life is such an open book. I wonder if I should have more secrets but God always reminds me that this is how I learn. I have very few secrets and if I have a trial I learn from it by sharing my experience with others.

I am always on the lookout for the lesson to be learned from every trial and so far in my current situation I am learning how much my friends love me and also how common questionable mammograms are in the world of womanhood. I felt so covered with prayers I found it hard to pray for myself. It was cool because I was at such ease I was available to pray and bless others. I felt like a light and I received many blessings.

Waiting room blessings:

1. I am now a true fan of Text Messaging. It was almost like my cousin Sydney was there in the room with me making hour long wait for them to call me almost as fun as the time I was with her on the bus ride home when her car was in the shop.

2. I really do like that show "Cash Cab" it is way better than watching Jerry Springer on the waiting room TV. I got a kick out of the people blurting out the answers from across the room.

After the initial waiting room I changed into my lovely ventilated hospital gown and was escorted to a room with eight other women who were all waiting for the same thing as I was.

Waiting room #2 blessings:

1.The fact that I was in the room with eight other women all waiting on the same thing put me at ease and reminded me of how common this secondary procedure is.

2. Put eight women together and of course they will begin talking. Thank you to the woman who has had questionable mammograms for 20 years, you made me and the other "newbie" loose our scared "deer in headlights" expressions feel better.

3. Thank you to the woman who is battling terminal intestinal cancer and has now been diagnosed with breast cancer and decided to take it in stride... You reminded me to cherish each day

4. To the woman sitting very quietly next to me reading the breast cancer booklet you recently received. A special prayer for you

5. To the young woman who decided to go for a mammogram after her mother's January diagnosis, you were very uplifting and I thank you.

6. To the comic relief of the day. This is a Women's waiting area and the only magazines available are "Golf" "Golf Digest" (as if one Golf magazine was not good enough) "Trailer News" (yes, there is actually a magazine by that name" And for the child in us, "ZooNooz" I guess that was to calm you down looking at the cute Meerkats on the cover. I decided the horrible magazines were actually set there to promote conversations for those waiting...

I was then taken into the ultrasound where the procedure began. I was almost positive they would not find anything. I even told the technician not to be surprised if you don't find anything because I am covered by grace. I am sorry but I giggled when I laid down on the table and saw a picture of roses taped to the ceiling. "Just look at the pretty picture"...

Ultrasound blessings:

1. Thank you Dee Dee and Nancy- Because of your inputs I knew exactly what was going to happen to me. They are putting together a detailed comparison file to go by in further years, makes total sense.

2. Thank you Kathy and Penny- You gave me such detailed descriptions of biopsies that I knew every step of what was to come next, even down to what the doctor was going to say "You will just feel a Bee Sting" Yeah Right!!!

3. I am thankful that I can find my happy place when I need to go there. "Doctor, please don't try to make small talk to me, I don't want to talk about my last vacation, I am just going to close my eyes and check out, Do what you gotta do" Bunnies, Kittens & smiley faces here I come...

4. I can find humor in all things. I swear the tool for the biopsy sounded just like a Potato Gun. If you don't know what it is, you dig the nozzle of the gun in a potato, draw out a portion of potato and use it as a pellet for your potato gun battle. Those pellets can sting so maybe thats why you dont see potato guns that much anymore, probably someone shot someones eye out. Hee Hee Hee I know one day the doctor will see a Potato gun and laugh cause I was totally right.

After the biopsy I had to have another mammogram.

2nd mammogram blessings:

1. Scriptural plaques on the walls encouraged me

2. This time there was pictures only NO SQUISHING!!! Yippee!!!

I will get the results in a week and although it is in the back of my mind I am cool.

"So I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna learn to trust you now..."

It is what it is...

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Daughter in Love...

I have told you before that I used to be MOD (Mom Of Dudes) but once Cam married Beka I became MODDIL (mom of dudes and daughter in law)
But I simply hate the word In-Law! I always have, I call my sister in law (again that word, ugh!)Cyndi my sister, She is the big sis cause she is the eldest (not by much), I am mid sis and my other sis Penny is the little sis(you can read?)
Yesterday I wrote a blog and included how I hate the word In-Law. I love when God lets people read my blogs and they respond cause my dear cousin Dodie (I know you are now Doreen but old habits die hard) told me that her mother in law had the same problem so she created their name for eachother and she called her "Daughter in love" because it is not the law that that makes them love eachother...

Wahhhhhhhh... Cyndi, you are my sister in love

Beka, you will always be my beautiful daughter in love...

Forever my love...No law can break it.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I am THIS close

Can you see me making a "Little Inch symbol" with my thumb and pointer finger...

I am THIS close... To never answering my home telephone again.

I have posted my number on whatever "Do not call" lists I have found and yet EVERY DAY I am called by.

The Republican National party- I have told you, I have made my donation, sorry it is not what you are wanting, I support my party with prayers which are honestly more valuable than any monetary donation I could give.

Cooking Light Magazine- I am simply not interested.

Intel Telemarketing- Steve filled out a form to win a car at the mall and brought us this fun daily caller.

The Blood Bank for Cameron- He no longer lives here for the ten millionth time!

Police or Fire department charities- These give you the major quilts but I stand firm. I am sorry but I make no over the phone donations TO ANYONE!!!!

Mortgage brokers from India- I have had a long standing hate hate relationship with these folks, whenever I ask for their information so I can take further action, the line goes dead.

Please know, caller Id keeps me from actually answering these repeat offenders calls, but I still have to get up and check the phone. Steve on the other hand if he answers the phone without his glasses on, he will not be able to read the caller ID and get into the web of calls. He should know better.


Rattled but not Rocked!

The past few months I have been addressing some health issues I have been having and one thing was to finally get my first mammogram a few weeks ago. Since I have no breast cancer on either side of my family history I was not too concerned about the test at all.

Thursday I got a letter in the mail saying I needed "additional imaging" I have never had any test of any kind come back any way but completely normal so this letter made me curious but not too nervous.

I had the best Mother's day ever, both of my wonderful sons, my amazing husband and beautiful daughter (in-law but you know I hate that word) all treated me like a truly loved and cherished queen. I am so blessed, I was also so happy to have a wonderful day because I now feel I am completely released from the heartache Mother's day has brought me from the loss of my mother. I am a true testimony that God restores your joy. I promise!

Monday I got the news that rattled me more that I can say, Thursday, I will have an ultrasound to explore questionable tissue on my right side. I can't feel a thing! What's up!!!

I am encouraged because I believe that my doctor would not have waited to send me a letter if there were true concerns, I believe I would have received an urgent call. I am also encouraged by my sister Penny who was of course one of the first people I called to cry on her shoulder and she told me she had the exact same issue. She really helped me get through my shakiness.

I know it is wrong to think this way, but I remember the Christmas just after my Mother In Law Trudy was diagnosed with lung cancer. She was not feeling too well and we all sat around wondering if it was our last Christmas as a full family and sure enough it was. I also remember a church friend who stood in front of me telling me of her breast cancer diagnosis, she looked fine, normal and yet within a year we were grieving for the loss of both of them.

Did I just have my best and last Mother's day? The thought is simply inconceivable. I am so far from done with this life, I need to get my Eric grown and I have to become a Grahamcracker! not to mention the tons of other stuff to do on my bucket list.!!

And yet it takes something like this to remind me that our lives can be over in an instant, you never know the hour you will leave this earth, weather it be sickness, or accident the truth is to make sure your eternity is secure.

Although I am not yet finished according to my terms, this recent diagnosis is just another thing I will encounter with my "It is what it is" kind of attitude, because I have faith of a child, unwavering and ironclad in can endure all things with him who strengthens me...

"My hope is built on nothing less

than Jesus' blood and righteousness...

On Christ the solid rock I stand

All other ground is sinking sand."

If you get a chance, please send your loving thoughts and prayers my way. I would really appreciate it.

Love ya


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Memoirs of a Kitchen Lady- Milk Box Surprise

Take a guess What do you think I found in the Milk box today when I cleaned it out?.

1. Car Shaped Eraser
2. Precious Moments baby spoon
3. Green lid to a Glue Stick
4. 2" long pink pencil
5. Head of a Happy Meal Doll
6. Barbie Shoe
7. Butterfly hair clip
8. Sun glass lens
9. M&M's
10.Giant Paper Clip

Actually all of the above have been found during my kitchen lady career, but today I found the green cap to a glue stick. I should start a collection
Go figure

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Thankful Tuesday- Gods small voice

Today I am thankful that God loves me and shows me. God is good

No Right Turn on Red

There is an intersection near our home that has a "no right turn on red" sign on it. It is just an ordinary intersection with no blind spots or anything to make it obvious why you can't turn right without the green light.

Because we are so used to following the rules of the road, driving becomes something we can do effortlessly while thinking of ten million other things at the same time. In this intersection, the sign is often ignored and therefore I have seen many people pulled over just south of the sign getting tickets.

So many times I have almost disobeyed this sign, I am driving, busy, have somewhere to go but for some reason whenever I reach this signal God reminds me in his small voice "Don't turn right against the red" sometimes the voice will even startle me, I will break, remember the sign and say "Thank you Lord, I really needed that reminder"

The other day Steve and I were in the car waiting to turn and Steve said "I have no idea why you can't turn here, it must be a trap" The man behind me was glaring at me like he was saying "Turn already" he wasn't honking, just glaring. Steve even said I should go but I said no, I will obey the sign and I will wait. Sure enough, as the light turned green and we turned a police car drove through the intersection, he was right next to us the whole time. Steve and I laughed and I thanked God for making me again aware of the sign.

My walk with God can become effortless and I can become too busy to remember to honor and obey him.

Lord, I am so grateful to you, thank you for loving me and showing me even in the small things.

Love, your Troysie