Sunday, December 13, 2009

Just when you think you're good...

This June Mom and will be gone 14 years and Dad will be gone 7. I will never get over how much it Stinks (really it sucks)to not have them here anymore but like God promised me so many years ago, my heart has grown stronger and I can face the days that used to bring me total heartache with joy and hope for the future.

I have reached the point where I can talk about the experience of losing them without crying and also like God promised, I have helped others through this especially tough time in their lives and I am grateful.

So, for the most part I would say I am good, I go along living my life thinking all is well, I am strong,then suddenly something like today comes out of left field and knocked me off my feet.

Ours is a very musical church and today we were going to have a guest male quartet. I was really looking forward to it, I love listening to male quartets because it reminds me of the music Dad loved to listen to. His music was not gospel but country western but the harmonies were still the same. The gentlemen were so handsome in their matching suits, they got up to the stage and began singing in harmony just like I expected but what I didn't expect was for one of the singers to look just like my dad, white haired with glasses and I would bet he even used Brylcream.

Without warning,I completely lost it, I was crying so hard and it was just their first song. Steve tried to comfort me but suggested I step out of the sanctuary to collect myself and I agreed so I left teetering on the brink of hysteria, I ran into my friend Carol in the lobby and pleaded for a hug "RIGHT NOW" Of course she obliged. I then ran into my dear friend Judy who was having a cup of coffee and collecting herself because she has just this week lost her own sister. We consoled each other and listened to the music and talked about days gone by and I hope did each other a world of good.

God is so good that he blesses us with wonderful memories and good friends to get you through the bumps that being a parentless grown up present.

Dad,I am glad you loved Sons of the Pioneers and Roy Rogers, I am glad you introduced us to the world of musical harmony, I am so glad you loved playing the guitar and making up your own lyrics to entertain your loved ones.

"Because You're mine... I walk the line..."

Love you Daddy, and I love that your picture smiles at me every day.

No comments: