Whould He Cry For You?

A tragedy happened in our lives recently. Three boys age 15, 11 and 9 went on a joyride that cost them their lives. In one minute it was over, wow, the magnitude of the impact is amazing. My dear hearted 14 year old son lost a classmate, a mother lost her only two sons, another family lost their son, a school lost two students and another lost one, and I can only imagine the shock endured by the Highway Patrolman who witnessed the entire incident.

My son was devastated, the boy that was his classmate used to make him laugh, he was the clown and Eric was crushed, one day the boy was there and the next he was gone.

I had no way to console him, I lost a friend in a car accident as a senior in High School but not in middle school. Kids their age don't die. Eric handled it in his own way by writing his friends name on his arms as a tribute. He wore the memorial ink for a few days and got in the car one day after school and was crushed at what a kid had said to him.

"You hardly knew him, I'll bet if you died he wouldn't cry for you"

Made Eric think... Would he have cried for me?

I told him that did not matter at all, what happened to his friend was a tragedy and tragedies deserve our tears. I did not know anyone who died in the 9/11 attacks and yet I cried for them. Never feel like your tears and sympathy should be given to only those who would cry for you. Emotions are not a contest.

Cry away my son...

Let's Just Face It

I am a happier person when I blog.

I love the way I view life in anticipation of getting home and writing it down, even the seagulls that occupy the field at Eric's school amaze me, how do they know to huddle in the dip in the middle of the grass to avoid the wind. God is good.

I have not even been on my dear MySpace in ages... Why? No Reason... There are just as many hours in the day, I know I am working more hours and that makes me tired, but my job demands only a portion of my brain, I still have plenty of time to write about the great blessings in my life and yet I choose silence.

I want to be a daily blogger, I want to navigate to my friends sites and see how they are doing, I want to respond to their wonderful blogs in my own loving way, my online friends are such a blessing that I have been ignoring and need to come back to.

I want to write about the funny things the kids say at school like my coworker was adding milk to the count and wanted to judge the amount needed to get through the rest of the service so she asked a girl "what grade are you in?" the girl replied... "fourth... Why do I look small?"

I want to write about what I see when I sit and wait for my son to get out of school like who do the ditchers think they are fooling walking back to school in time to be picked up by their parents. Busted!!!

I have vowed to read and I have now vowed to write...

I just feel more blessed that way.

Prayer and Fasting

I learned that I personally find immense strength in my prayer life when I add fasting to the need. It began when I prayed and fasted every Monday for a year during my pastor's illness, so periodically I find the need to add fasting to my prayers and find joy and peace in the act.

Recently, I have been in fervent prayer and fasting for our dear friends and Eric my 14 year old decided he was going to fast for his friend at school who was going through a trial of her own.

I am so peaceful when I am fasting, I am prayerful and peaceful so it threw me for a loop when I picked Eric up from school on his day of fasting.

mom-"Hi Honey, how was your day"

Eric- "Mom, I am so stinkin hungry that if I don't get something to eat NOW I am going to DIE!!! This fasting STINKS!!! I havent even prayed all day cause all I can think about is how I am STARVING!!!"

He continued for several minutes ranting and raving about his starvation until we got home.
After I fed my teen and he calmed down, I explained fasting is different for different people.

I am proud of him in his prayer for a friend. I love my little servant.

Not Long For This World

I kind of feel like this today, after 7 full days of horrible winds, my allergies, throat and head can hardly stand any more. I am a sneezing hacking machine. I HATE Fontana wind.

However... The reason for this post is to announce that at any given moment I and my participation in the world of blogging may fall off of the planet as our computer has reached the ripe old age of six and is showing signs that 2009 will be the year of its demise.

I have a back up though...I have preserved all that is dear and believe that when the day finally arrives, we will be prepared.

Blessings to all of you for as long as we can resurrect this old dinosaur

Shattered Dreams

Yesterday Eric went with his buddy to the local mall and kept calling me in shock and telling me his favorite stores were closed or closing. It really upset him that stores we have gone to since he was little were no longer going to be there.

Today we heard of a new local game shop that closed and we went by to see and not only was this store closed but so were others in the new little strip mall by our house.

Large mega stores closing make me sad, but not as much as seeing these small stores gone because to me, I can see that someones dreams are also dashed, who knows but I would think they are in financial ruin by the loss of the business too and all there is to show for their efforts is a red sign on the door notifying us of their eviction.

All he wanted was to have a fun local video game store for kids to hang out at and play or buy games.

All she wanted was a hair salon of her own.

All they wanted was a Vitamin store so they could share the benefits of what they have learned with others.

I know times are rough for the retail industry. Even the owner of the coffee shop we have gone to for 23 years told us she may be forced to sell.

And yet...

I am hopeful,
Our nation is receiving the change they were crying out for, I am hoping the change will be a blessing.

I am grateful,
to be older, I have been through this two times before and I know we will pull through.

Still... My heart aches for the shattered dreams

I want a 4 year old

When vacation ends, so does my daily writing. I don't know why? I still have plenty of thoughts and ideas, I just need to write them down...



So, My New Years resolutions...



#1 Study the Bible More



#2 Blog more...



Love, Troysie





I want a 4 year old



Today in the cafeteria I was watching a Pre- School mother holding her son after he ate his lunch. Just cuddling, his head tucked safely under hers, oh how I miss the days of cuddling with a little guy on my lap.



The best joys of my early motherhood came in 4's. At four weeks both of my boys graduated from smiling at angels, to smiling at ME!



At four months, since I was a working mother, they would greet me with excitement that would encompass every part of their bodies making me realize they knew and loved their mommy.


4 years old, oh how I loved it. No more terrible twos which in my case extended to the threes. My sons were fully potty trained and had a very good command of the English language so I finally got my wish of conversation and days of no crying! Ahhhhh. Plus, the cuddles, Oh the cuddles, 4 year old boys are simply the cutest, they are silly, comical, imaginative,expressive but most of all loving and cuddly.



So, after I expressed my desire for a little four year old on my lap, 5'6 100whatever pound Eric decided to indulge me with some lap time and cuddles...



I am sorry, but it is just not the same...

Don't call me Sweetie

I have always loved baking. I am excited this year because I have a few days before Christmas to get my cookie baking done.

This year, I have gotten extra ambitious and decided to try my hand at candy making.

I have tried in years past I mean really tried and have failed miserably. I can get over the failed attempt but...

I HATE WASTING INGREDIENTS!!!

Well, I have beat this divinity that was "foolproof" now for about 40 minutes and all I have is white liquid.

I believe this is a failure and I will not even waste my pecans on it.

Cookies here I come.