When my son first announced his engagement is what I would call "Hell Week" Steve and I felt so tested, first by the kids choice to marry several months earlier than in the original plan Cam outlined to us before he proposed, and second by their choices in wedding party.
I heard for the first time out of my sons mouth the horrible selfish words.
"IT'S MY WEDDING"
By the tone of his voice, I realized by saying that phrase he was saying I will hurt anyone I want, be as selfish as I want, and do anything I want all in the name of my wedding and YOU have to go along with it.
"OH NO YOU DIDN'T"
One thing you don't do is push this momma bears buttons! He got a good sitting down and the lines were drawn. The first words immediately omitted from my sons vocabulary was "IT'S MY WEDDING"
Once he realized that we completely understand it is their wedding, we all want the same thing he does, that we are behind him all the way, that it is our desire to please and make a day exactly what he wanted all hurts were forgiven and we moved on...
After all... It is your wedding...